The gift of Choosing Love before Ego

When the ego softens, love expands

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

C.S. Lewis

The other day, I caught myself quietly judging someone I deeply love for handling a situation in a way I wouldn’t have. I had lived something similar before in my own journey, and I truly believed my experience could help that person.

I thought I was trying to help, but when that person chose not to listen to what I was sharing, I felt something rise… tight in my chest. My ego was leading that interaction. And at that moment, it was no longer about helping that dear one — it was about being right and feeling offended. It became personal.

I had to stop abruptly and shake my head… That reaction surprised me.

Who did I think I was to own the truth? Since when was my experience the universal manual for someone else’s life? I know very well that truth isn’t owned. It’s lived. And it looks different through every pair of eyes and every journey.

Only ego believes it has the full picture. The rest of us — if we are honest — are simply walking beside one another, doing the best we can with what we know at the time.

And I realized something important: my desire to be right had become stronger than my desire to understand. That is not love. That is ego… and I needed to bring it back into perspective.

Understanding the ego

The ego is not evil. It’s protective. It wants control, safety, and certainty.

It tells us:
“I know better.”
“They’re doing it wrong.”
“If they would just listen…”

But love whispers something different:
“You know each person’s journey is different, right?”
“What if your role is not to tell them what to do, but simply to offer support?”
“What if loving someone doesn’t require proving yourself right?”

Understanding that the ego tightens and the heart softens is important. And in that softening, connection becomes something beautiful.

Leave ego. Choose love.

Choosing love doesn’t mean staying silent when something matters. It doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means pausing before reacting or correcting. It means remembering that connection matters more than control.

3 Benefits of choosing love over ego:

• We build stronger bonds through understanding.
• We ease conflict by accepting differences.
• We grow in compassion.

That night, after I caught myself judging someone I love, I felt sad and heavy. Then came the inner work… Who am I to dictate another soul’s journey?

I am not their teacher or savior. I am simply someone who loves them and chooses to walk beside them. And sometimes walking beside someone means trusting that their way — even if different — is theirs to live.

Understanding that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking less about yourself. And empathy is a gift of love. In that shift, love expands.

To support this reflection, I created a new coloring page with a quiet reminder and an invitation to slow down, soften, and listen gently within. I hope you like it!