Making room for who you are becoming
What if growing into yourself begins with letting go of who you used to be?
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
by Carl Jung
The other day, I attended a beautiful presentation by Amanda Weil, a Soul Stylist who believes that our clothes can tell the stories of who we are, where we've been, and who we are becoming.
She invited us to look at our closets in a completely different way. Not as a collection of clothes, but as a collection of memories, experiences, and different versions of ourselves.
The person we were ten years ago. The person we tried to become. The clothes we bought for a life we imagined, or for a version of ourselves we thought we needed to be. And then she asked a question that stayed with me:
Are you still dressing as an old version of yourself? It got me thinking about how much this question goes beyond our closets.
The versions of ourselves we carry
Throughout our lives, we change. We grow through experiences, relationships, challenges, beautiful moments, and difficult ones. Every chapter teaches us something. But sometimes, without realizing it, we continue carrying pieces of ourselves that no longer belong to the person we are today.
Old expectations. Old fears. Habits that once protected us. Responsibilities we no longer need to carry. Even dreams that may have changed along the way. We hold on because these things are familiar. Because they were once important. Because letting go can feel like leaving a part of ourselves behind.
But what if letting go doesn't mean forgetting or rejecting who we were?
What if it simply means making room for who we are becoming?
From proving to simply being
Another idea Amanda shared was the difference between trying to prove who we are and simply allowing ourselves to be. I loved this!
How often do we make choices because of how we want others to see us? We want to be successful, capable, strong, interesting, beautiful, or enough. And sometimes, in all that trying, we forget to ask ourselves a much simpler question:
Does this still feel like me?
There is something freeing about realizing that we don't have to keep proving ourselves. We can choose what feels right. What brings us joy. What reflects the person we are today. Maybe confidence isn't always about becoming more. Maybe sometimes it's about removing the things that hide who we already are.
What are you ready to release?
During the presentation, Amanda guided us through a visualization and invited us to imagine the person we are becoming. She asked us to consider what we might be ready to leave behind.
I found myself thinking about how easy it is to collect things in life. Not only clothes, but commitments, worries, beliefs, and expectations. And how rarely we stop to ask whether we still need them. Perhaps we could look at our lives with the same curiosity we bring to cleaning out a closet.
What still fits? What makes us feel comfortable, joyful, and alive? What have we been holding on to simply because it's been there for so long? And what might happen if we gently made a little space?
Three words to guide your next chapter
One of my favorite exercises from the presentation was choosing three words to describe how we want to feel and express ourselves. Not how others expect us to be, but how we truly want to experience life.
My three words were elegant, creative, comfortable.
For me, elegance isn't about fancy clothes or following fashion rules. It's about harmony. Colors that complement each other, soft fabrics that feel wonderful against my skin, and beautiful combinations of colors and patterns that allow me to express my creativity.
And comfort is just as important. I want to feel good in what I wear, to move freely, and to feel like myself. As I thought about these three words, I realized they could describe so much more than my wardrobe. I want to bring creativity into my days, find harmony in my surroundings, and feel comfortable being exactly who I am. Perhaps that's what made this little exercise so meaningful!
Three simple words that can guide not only how we dress, but how we choose to live.
What would your three words be? Maybe peaceful, playful, free. Or confident, curious, authentic. There are no right or wrong answers. Only the words that feel meaningful to you.
And perhaps, little by little, we can allow those words to guide our choices. The things we wear, the people we surround ourselves with, the way we spend our time, and the things we give ourselves permission to say no to.
Growing doesn't mean starting over
I keep coming back to the idea that we don't need to become a new person every time life changes. We can appreciate the younger version of ourselves who dreamed big. The one who made mistakes. The one who was afraid but kept going. The one who did the best she could with what she knew at the time. All those versions belong to our story, and thanks to them, we are right here!
We can thank them for what they taught us, release them from the power to decide how we live today, and move forward, one breath, one step, one day at a time.
Giving ourselves permission to change, to choose again, and to become who we are today is, for me, one of the most beautiful parts of growing older.
Today, I would love to invite you to reflect on one little thing you might be ready to release. An old expectation? A habit? A belief about yourself? Or maybe even a piece of clothing that reminds you of someone you no longer are.
What would you make room for if you allowed yourself to let go?
I created a free coloring page for you to print and enjoy. As you color, perhaps you can think about three words that describe who you are today and who you are becoming. A little moment of creativity to reconnect with yourself and make room for what feels right.
With love,
Ale
